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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158507">Hidden Scars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebrieplatter/pseuds/thebrieplatter'>thebrieplatter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Idols, F/M, Murder, Suicide, dance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:07:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,930</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158507</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebrieplatter/pseuds/thebrieplatter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lee HaeWon is an idol and one of seven members of the Kpop girl group LvSeven. Dancing is what she lives for-- it's a passion that she developed to get rid of the trauma that she faced after both her parents committed suicide. But no matter how hard she tried, it was never enough to heal her scars.</p><p>And that's when JungKook steps into the picture. Something that began as an accidental friendship that started when the two bumped into each other in a park, turned into blossoming love and soon HaeWon realizes that JungKook was her only ticket to being healed. </p><p>But it's not as easy as it seems. </p><p>Being an idol comes with a lot of problems and sacrifices. </p><p>Will she have to let JungKook go for the sake of her dreams?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon JungKook | Lee HaeWon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>An excerpt from Lee Haewon's diary.</p><p>
  <b>●●●</b>
</p><p>
  <b>| November 8th |</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Did you ever wonder how it would feel like to be an orphan?</p><p>Well, it sucks.</p><p>Mom and Dad are dead. Mom killed dad first and then killed herself. The police are here and the whole place is a mess. Ambulances, blood, paramedics, sirens... I don't know what to do.</p><p>Everything seems scary.</p><p>But I'm not scared.</p><p>I won't be scared.</p><p>I'm fourteen and I've been taking care of myself just fine.</p><p>I think I'll be okay.</p><p>My Aunt and my cousin Seong Min is here. I don't know if I should feel happy or sad to see them—especially Seong Min. But their presence is a comfort and I need that.</p><p>They've taken away Mom and Dad. I'm in my Aunt's house now. Apparently, I'd fainted.</p><p>...</p><p>Is it wrong that I don't feel anything?</p><p>Or is it just me being empty inside?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>| November 17th |</b>
</p><p> </p><p>I cut myself yesterday. The pressure was just too much and I didn't want to live anymore. I wanted to end everything. The pain, the tears, the voices in my head.</p><p>Everything.</p><p>But someone rescued me. I think it's Seong Min but I'm not sure. I didn't ask. Everyone's been silent ever since the incident.</p><p>I'm bored.</p><p> </p><p>|<b> November 25th |</b></p><p> </p><p>Im still at the hospital. Seong Min came over to see me, today.</p><p>He was silent at first but he then asked me if I'd like to see him dance. Of course, I said yes—I've always loved watching him dance even when he was a trainee and was not very good at it. But now, he's amazing. I could see him glide to the music all day.</p><p>I guess he wouldn't have been an idol if he couldn't dance like an angel.</p><p>He asked me if I'd like to try too. I didn't have anything to do so I agreed after asking permission from my doctor.</p><p>Turns out, I finally realised why Seong Min liked dancing. It's... It's nice. It feels good.</p><p>I feel good.</p><p>Seong Min asked me if I wanted to sign up to be a trainee. I guessed that there was no harm in trying so I agreed to that too. It's not like I have anything important to do and being a trainee is worth a shot. There is a new company being launched soon and I thought of auditioning there.</p><p>I'm... Happy.</p><p>I think.</p><p>At least, I definitely feel better than before.</p><p>And something is better than nothing, right?</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. CHAPTER ONE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>| ʜᴀᴇᴡᴏɴ |</b>
</p><p><em>Up, down, turn, release, to the left, turn, back in place...</em> I chanted the moves in my head like a mantra as I repeated the same steps over and over again. I knew that my moves were perfect and on point but still, practice makes perfect and even more practise makes it even more perfect.</p><p>And I wanted it to be ultimately perfect.</p><p>The slow music drifted from the stereo and reverberated from the walls of the silent studio as I practised, again and again, moving strategically across the dance floor, completely immersed in the dance. Everything around me turned blurry as I increased my speed and then cleared as I slowed down.</p><p>Time passed and soon, I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, completely exhausted. I looked around, noticing that my surroundings had turned dead silent.</p><p>The dance room was completely deserted. Not a soul was in sight as it usually was during this time. Of course, not everyone was like me.</p><p>I looked at the clock that hung on the wall.</p><p>01:54 AM.</p><p>Sighing, I stood up, the cold air around me drying the sweat that dripped down from my forehead. I wiped droplets of the salty liquid that were blocking my vision before putting on my hoodie and grabbing my phone after turning the stereo off and placing it in its respective spot. Turning off the lights, I closed the door behind me and locked the studio before making my way outside the entertainment building.</p><p>It was cold outside. Winter had begun to seep in and I felt the air become more chilly as the days passed. Tonight, a faint mist hung over the city but I could see pretty well despite it. The neon lights of the small restaurants that lined the pavement provided enough lighting for me to find my way through the neighbourhood. I walked as quickly as my tired legs could carry me, desperate to reach home and get some rest.</p><p>Soon, I saw a familiar building in the distance. Within a few minutes, I entered it and was immediately met with a whoosh of warm air from the central heating. I rolled my eyes.</p><p>
  <em>The caretaker surely despised the cold.</em>
</p><p>Climbing the stairs, I made my way towards the third floor and then took the elevator to the seventh floor. It was initially an attempt for me to get some exercise but I figured that I could never get past the third floor so I took the elevator to the seventh floor. And it sort of grew into a habit after that and now, even if I can take the stairs to the seventh with ease, I just prefer to stick with taking the elevator at the third floor.</p><p>
  <em>Call me weird. I don't care.</em>
</p><p>I walked out of the elevator and went to apartment 703. Typing in the password, I entered quietly, not wishing to disturb my bandmates who I assumed were fast asleep as slightly loud snores filled the place.</p><p>I smiled to myself.</p><p>
  <em>And then they argue that they don't snore.</em>
</p><p>I headed to the bathroom and after having a quick shower and changing into a baggy t-shirt and shorts I headed to the kitchen. I saw a plate of food placed on the kitchen top, covered by a small glass bowl, waiting to be devoured by me.</p><p>I chuckled, shaking my head at how concerned they were. I'd probably told them about a million times to not bother about my diet but they never listened.</p><p>After pouring a glass of milk for myself, I sat down at the small island in the middle of the kitchen and devoured my food. Egg rolls were always a favourite.</p><p>After I'd finished eating, I washed my plate and headed to the bedroom which I shared with two of my bandmates.</p><p>When I opened the door I saw Jin Ah and Sarah fast asleep in their respective beds. Slowly, using the light of my phone, not daring to switch the lights on, I went to my bed and sunk into it, sighing in relief as I enveloped myself in the soft blanket.</p><p>But just as I was about to drift off to sleep, I heard Jin Ah stirring.</p><p>
  <em>Oh no.</em>
</p><p>"Haewon? Is that you?"</p><p>I sighed."Yeah," I said, sitting up.</p><p>Jin Ah had her bedside lamp turned on and I could see the serious expression on her face.</p><p>"You're late. Again."</p><p>"I know... I'm sorry," I apologized, my eyes downcast. Jin Ah took a deep breath and exhaled.</p><p>"HaeWon, we've talked about this, haven't we?" she asked, her voice a bit stern but mostly filled with concern. "And I'm sure Sarah has talked to you about this too. We don't want you returning home so late because you have to practice dancing. I know how you feel. I really do. But one, it's not safe for a girl to walk these streets after midnight and two, you need rest, HaeWon. Even if you don't wanna sleep at least spend some time doing nothing or occupying yourself with something else."</p><p>Pursing my lips, I looked at Sarah who was fast asleep in the bed opposite to me despite Jin Ah turning her lamp on.</p><p>"But... Dancing is everything to me. It's my <em>something else</em>too as you call it."</p><p>"Yes, but Haewon, you need to get enough rest before we debut right?" Jin Ah said, walking over and sitting next to me on my bed so that we can talk in hushed voices. "We have only a few weeks left and we have already been working hard all day and luckily our company lets us go home at eleven. You need to take advantage of that," she said, stroking my back to comfort me.</p><p>Sighing, I buried my head in my hands. "I just... I just don't want the nightmares to come back," I said in a small voice.</p><p>Jin Ah stayed silent for a moment before speaking. "Okay. I understand. But know that we're just looking out for you, HaeWon. Not only the two of us- all six of us are. And we want you to be safe. Remember, once we are out there, even if you wanted to sleep, you won't get enough rest. It's going to be hectic. You can't help it, that's just how everything is. Also, you need to take care of yourself more. First impressions are the best impressions so please, make sure you are in good condition when we hit the stage, yeah?"</p><p>I nodded, exhaling heavily. "Fine."</p><p>Jin Ah gave me a comforting smile and a pat on the back. "Okay, now lie down and try to catch a wink, young lady. I'm not going to bear the accusation of snatching away the only few hours that you fall asleep in," she said, smiling.</p><p>I chuckled as she stood up and went to her bed, turning off her lamp and tucking herself in while I did the same.</p><p>It was quarter to three when I checked the time in my phone before slowly drifting off into a sound sleep.</p><p>
  <b>●</b>
  <b>●</b>
  <b>●</b>
</p><p>The next day brought a surprise to me and my bandmates. Our production director-PD nim as everyone calls him- had decided to give us a day off, to allow us to "let off steam" as he called it. Ecstatic, we quickly finished our daily workout and warm-up sessions and exited the building after notifying him and the rest of the staff.</p><p>Ah Ro, Sarah and Yeona headed out first, stretching themselves while Jae Eun, Jin Ah, Nexa and I followed up behind them.</p><p>Yeona sighed in content as she looked up at the tall buildings around us. "Ah, it's so good to have a break after practising constantly for months!"</p><p>"Don't even get me started on how good I feel," Sarah, our band leader agreed with a chuckle. At the age of twenty-two, Sarah was a favourite among us all. Her wit and character was everything a leader needed to have and also the fact that she was not the oldest or the youngest among the seven of us was why PD nim chose her to be our leader.</p><p>And in my opinion, he did the right thing.</p><p>Nexa clapped her hands, gaining our attention. "I say we treat ourselves! How about we have a good meal at a restaurant?"</p><p>Immediately, disagreement followed her suggestion.</p><p>"What? Are you nuts?!"</p><p>"Are you freaking suggesting that we stuff up on food just weeks before our debut after going on a diet for almost a year?"</p><p>"Exactly! Not to mention, PD nim would kill us!"</p><p>Nexa held up her hands in surrender, a sheepish smile playing on her lips. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. So what do you suggest we do?"</p><p>Everyone stayed silent for a few minutes, deep in thought. Suddenly, Yeona put her hand up. "How about we go on a road trip? Or wait, we can drive through the quiet parts of the city and then go to the park, have some fun, and then have a picnic! How does that sound?"</p><p>"That's a good idea," Sarah said, beaming. "Anyone have any other suggestions?"</p><p>We shook our heads, immediately liking what Yeona was suggesting.</p><p>A mini road trip sounded perfect.</p><p>"So it's decided then! We'll head to our apartment, pack some food which doesn't exceed our dietary limits, grab another set of outfits and hit the road, alright?" Jin Ah said and everyone except me gave a loud cheer.</p><p>I chuckled lightly at their mood. I was never one who got too excited; my friends had enough excitement in them to fill an entire city. Whooping and cheering, they walked back to our apartment, with me following them at the very end along with Jae Eun who was the second oldest member of our group.</p><p>Her character matched mine in many ways and if I was being honest, she was the one who I could relate to the most. Sarah was a good leader but there was very little that I could actually relate to with her, unlike Jae Eun.</p><p>We soon reached our apartment and after an hour or so, we had our food and an extra pair of outfits-just to stay on the safe side- packed in small backpacks.</p><p>We walked down to the parking lot in the basement and got into Jae Eun's Toyota Rush. She was the only one out of us who had both a car and a driving license. Ah Ro and Jin Ah were still taking driving lessons but the rest of us didn't bother because we didn't have a notion of getting our own vehicles any time soon.</p><p>We hopped in, and Jin Ah called out above the constant chatter. "You guys ready to have the time of your life?"</p><p>"YEAH!" Everybody screamed and I saw the guard at the parking lot entrance flinch at the sudden noise. I giggled. I knew that we were definitely going to make the best out of this expedition of ours.</p><p>
  <b>●</b>
  <b>●</b>
  <b>●</b>
</p><p>"Yah, Ah Ro! That's my sandwich!" Jin Ah screamed and chased Ah Ro who was pretty much scrambling away to save herself from Jin Ah. We were at the park after Nexa had asked if we could have a snack before we roamed the streets in our car. At the mentioning of food, everyone had suddenly felt hungry too so we had agreed to have our picnic first and then hit the road.</p><p>And to be honest, I wasn't surprised in the least.</p><p>I had known deep down that someone was going to make us change our plans.</p><p>As I sat on the picnic blanket, munching on a sandwich while the others began chasing each other, I suddenly began growing restless. My fingers tapped on the ground, I began moving my feet side to side, and I stretched out my limbs.</p><p>Sarah, who sat next to me, nudged my arm. "Yah, HaeWon. Why are you fidgeting so much? Can't stay a few minutes without dancing?" she asked, chuckling.</p><p>
  <em>So that was it.</em>
</p><p>"Maybe," I said, deep in thought. "Hey, can you tell the others that I'll be back in a few minutes? When you guys are ready to leave, send me a text, yeah?" I stood up.</p><p>"What? Where are you going?" she asked.</p><p>I pointed to the others who were now playing tag. "Just tell them I'll be back. I'm not going to go that far."</p><p>Sarah raised a brow at me as I walked away backwards. "Fine, but how long would you take to come back?"</p><p>"About ten minutes."</p><p>She pursed her lips before nodding. "Ten minutes it is then. But don't be a minute later than that, you hear me?"</p><p>I chuckled. "Okay, Oh mighty leader."</p><p>"Good."</p><p>I walked through towards a thick patch of trees towards the east side of the park. I had discovered a little secluded clearing in the middle of the tall trees when I came here the last time. I just hoped that it still stayed unknown to the human world.</p><p>As I walked through the mini wood, I heard a faint sound of music waft along the breeze nad reach my ears. I frowned and stood still, trying to comprehend from which direction it came from. I looked to my left.</p><p>Yes, that was where it was coming from.</p><p>But as I saw the familiar birch tree that had a small flower carved on to it, I also realized that that was where the clearing was as well. My face fell and I sighed before walking towards it.</p><p>
  <em>The world really needs to stop preventing me from dancing.</em>
</p><p>When I approached the clearing, I saw a tall male figure, with his back to me, standing in the middle, panting hard. The music had stopped and I figured that he had just finished dancing or maybe he was taking a short break.</p><p>But judging by his position, I confirmed that it was the latter.</p><p>And so, curious to see what happened next, I stayed behind a thick bush, not making my presence known.</p><p>Yet.</p><p>Just as I expected, the music started again. The boy-- or man, I really couldn't see his face-- soon lapsed into a series of movement that left me utterly dumbfounded. I stood in the shadows, gaping at the power that he exerted through his movement, yet managing to be graceful as he moved along with the wind. It was magical- everything about it was beautiful and strangely elegant... I couldn't really describe it. My eyes were fixed on him and only him. Everything around me receded into oblivion.</p><p>I didn't know how long it lasted, but suddenly the music stopped. I blinked, shaking my head and looked around me, wondering what I just had witnessed.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe I should make myself known before I get hypnotised again.</em>
</p><p>I cleared my throat and stepped into the clearing and just as I did, I saw him turn around in surprise.</p><p>"Um, I'm sorry for intruding--" I began, bowing slightly but he interrupted my introduction.</p><p>"How long have you been here?" he asked, a bit rudely. I flinched slightly at the unexpected tone but I didn't mind though-- I would have done the same if someone turned up in the middle of my dance routine.</p><p>Maybe even worse.</p><p>"A few minutes, maybe?" I said shrugging. "But long enough to know that you are an amazing dancer."</p><p>He raised a brow and the corners of his pink lips lifted slightly. "Well, okay. Thanks. But I'm not that good," he said, taking a small Bluetooth speaker that was placed above a rock and turning it off.</p><p>I almost snorted. "Stop being modest. Those moves were too good to be legal. You pretty much had me in a trance."</p><p>"Wow, I didn't know that my dance was that enticing. Are you sure that you were mesmerized by my dance and not my attractiveness?" he asked smirking and I simply rolled my eyes with a chuckle. I tried to think of something to say when I suddenly remembered that I hadn't gotten to finish my introduction.</p><p>"Anyways, I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Lee Haewon," I said, bowing again.</p><p>"Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook."<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. CHAPTER TWO</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>| ʜᴀᴇᴡᴏɴ |</b>
</p><p>"So... when did you find this place?" I asked JungKook, genuinely curious.</p><p>Jungkook thought for a moment. "It's been about a month now. I was just walking around the park finding a quiet place to relax in when I saw this clump of birch trees unoccupied. So, I walked around it for a while and that's when I noticed this clearing-- no one seemed to know about this place, so I thought it would be perfect for practicing."</p><p>"Practicing, as in dancing without being interrupted?" I asked with a small smile to which he grinned back.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"I get you. I thought the same when I came across this place too."</p><p>"Wait, you dance?"</p><p>I grinned. "Of course. I practically live for dancing."</p><p>JungKook's eyes widened and a wide smile spread across his face. "Finally! Someone who understands!" He exclaimed, giving a small cheer.</p><p>I laughed at his enthusiasm. But before I could say anything, a beep sound erupted from the pocket of my jeans and I involuntarily jumped. Realizing that it was my phone, I dug my hands into my pockets and took it out and realized that it was a message from Sarah.</p><p><b>Sarah Unni</b><br/>Where are you?!</p><p><b>Sarah</b><b> Unni</b><br/>We're gonna leave soon!</p><p>Sighing, I looked up at Jungkook.</p><p>"I'm sorry but, I have to go. My friends are waiting for me," I said, holding out my hand. "Anyways, it was nice meeting you. It's pretty rare for me to meet someone who loves dancing as much as I do, irrespective of if they could dance well or not."</p><p>"Oh, stop being modest," he waved, nonchalantly. "I'm pretty sure you dance well too."</p><p>I blinked, confused.</p><p>
  <em>How—</em>
</p><p>"Your shoes. They're worn out exactly where mine is worn out too," he stated, reading my mind and pointing down to my feet.</p><p>"What?" I laughed and looked down at my pair of red converse before glancing at his shoes as well. And it turned out that he was right. The worn-out parts of both our shoes were the same. I looked up at him. "Well, you're very observant."</p><p>He shrugged, brushing away my compliment. "I tend to notice things a lot."</p><p>"Not gonna argue with that," I agreed. My phone beeped again and I sighed.</p><p>
  <em>Sarah is really a huge pain in the arse.</em>
</p><p>"I guess you better go. Your friend is getting a little impatient," Jungkook said.</p><p>"You wanna get rid of me that much?" I chuckled, making him laugh.</p><p>"No, but I'm guessing that you'll be in trouble if you don't go like... right now."</p><p>"Well, your right on that. Anyways, I'll see you around. You live in this neighbourhood right?" I asked and he nodded. My phone beeped again and this time, a series of ringing sounds followed as well. I groaned.</p><p>
  <em>I swear to God—</em>
</p><p>I waved to Jungkook as I turned to leave. "Bye! See you around! "</p><p>"You too!" Jungkook waved back and I picked up my pace as I ran as fast as I could to where my friends were.</p><p>I caught sight of Sarah stomping around while the others stood tensed. I slowed down as I neared them, my chest heaving heavily due to lack of oxygen.</p><p>Ah Ro saw me coming over and she tapped Sarah on the shoulder to notify her that I was back. Sarah turned around, her face red.</p><p>"Lee HaeWon!" she shouted, pointing a finger at me and I flinched at the sound. She thundered over to me, grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me until I felt the world around me spin in a most undesirable manner.</p><p>"You insufferable kid! I am not letting you go out on your own again, you hear me?!"</p><p>"Yah, stop it! I'm getting dizzy!" I cried out in an attempt to make her quit her nonsensical behaviour but my casual usage of words only made her even angrier.</p><p>"Yah? <em>YAH?</em> That is the tone you use with someone who is four years older than you? I was worried sick about you! You've been away for sixteen minutes when you said you'll be here in ten!" she raised her voice and shook me to the extent that Jin Ah and Nexa had to pull her away from me.</p><p>I groaned before shaking my head to get my senses straight and dusting myself, smoothing out the creases that had formed on my dress due to Sarah's vigorous shaking.</p><p>"Stop being dramatic, Unni. You know I can take care of myself. Besides, this is just a park. I doubt there would be any serial killers hiding in the bushes, waiting for their next target," I said, nonchalantly.</p><p>"You don't have to wait for a serial killer to kill you because I'll kill you first!"</p><p>"Enough!" Jin Ah said, shutting the both of us up. "Haewon, where were you?"</p><p>"I'm sorr—" I began, but she cut me off midsentence.</p><p>"I didnt ask you to apologize, HaeWon. Just tell me were you?" Jin Ah deadpanned. I gulped. She was serious.</p><p>I locked my lips nervously before stuttering. "I uh... went to...um to... to--"</p><p>"We don't have all day, HaeWon."</p><p>"--dance," I confessed meekly, sighing.</p><p>A series of groans followed my confession and I hung my head low sheepishly.</p><p>Jin Ah's shoulders slumped and she facepalmed, shaking her head. "God, when will you ever stop your abnormal craze for dancing, I don't know, but at least you didn't scare any poor strangers away right?" she asked and I smirked but stayed silent. Without waiting for me to answer, the girls picked up the remnants of the picnic and headed to the parking lot. As usual, I trailed behind, hands in my pockets, deep in thought.</p><p>I looked up at the sky, and saw hues of red, orange and yellow tangle around each other, creating an array of shades that signalled the end of the day. Sighing, I breathed in the moderately fresh air, relaxing slightly as I turned to the clump of birch trees. The park was almost empty now and when I stained my ears, I could hear very faint music coming from within.</p><p>I took a deep breath, a small smile forming on the edges of my lips as I walked towards Jae Eun's Toyota Rush, away from the bitch trees.</p><p>I didn't know why but just then, I had a feeling that I haven't seen the last of Jungkook yet.</p><p>
  <b>●</b>
  <b>●</b>
  <b>●</b>
</p><p>After two hours of roaming around the remote parts of the city-- where we were pretty much cursed at by the pedestrians due to our loud screaming and honking as we passed by-- we ended up lounging against a graffiti-filled wall that belonged to one of the deserted houses that lined up the street. It was late into the evening and we were exhausted after pretty much running around all day. At one point, we had left the car and walked alongside it, jumping around and yelling at each other, while Jae Eun drove it at a slow pace along with us. We didn't have a specific motive about what we should do-- our only objective was to have as much as fun as we could before we resumed our training sessions and getting ready for our debut as a seven-member girl group.</p><p>Our entertainment company was a newly launched one and we were the first batch of trainees who were selected to train in it. There were about fifteen of us in the beginning and after intense training for three years straight, seven of us were selected to debut this winter.</p><p>I looked up, breathing heavily as my eyes trailed over the moonless black sky, studded with stars that shone like a thousand diamonds that were spread over black velvet.</p><p>
  <em>Would I look back when I grow up and regret my decision to be part of the Kpop industry?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or would I think that this was the right thing to do?</em>
</p><p>I couldn't come to a conclusion. But right now, I thought that this was what I needed. Being part of a group of seven energetic girls; being able to dance to my heart's content; working away into the night; enjoying life like it should be enjoyed; learning to appreciate the small things in life... all this chaos that brought me happiness is just what I wanted after what I went through as a child. It made me forget what I had to endure, the hardships that I went through, the horrible nightmares that ended up shaking me to the tip of my toes... and most importantly, my scars.</p><p>I looked down at my left wrist. A faint line shone through the layers of makeup that I had caked over it. My eyes welled up with tears but I shook my head, dismissing any thoughts that brought me back to the days of agony in my life. I looked at my friends who were also looking up at the sky, lost in their own thoughts just like I was.</p><p><em>Did they have to go through what I went through as well?</em> I wondered to myself. <em>Maybe; maybe not.</em></p><p>I smiled as I observed them in silence. What was the use of dwelling in the past when we were happy now? Maybe we had to face trials for a reason. Maybe we had to endure them because God had different plans for us and our trials eventually led us to find happiness.</p><p>"Guys?" I called out, trying to gain their attention. They turned their heads towards me, curious.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>I cleared my throat. "Well, I was just wondering... Do you think maybe we would still be friends even after we disband?" I asked.</p><p>Shouts of protest followed my question as all six girls began scolding me at once.</p><p>"Oh my God, Haewon! Stop thinking such things!"</p><p>"We haven't even debuted yet and you are already talking about disbanding?"</p><p>"Don't cross bridges before you get there, HaeWon!"</p><p>I chuckled, holding my hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, fine. I was just curious, that's all. It's not wrong to just ask about something you are curious about right?" I asked, shrugging.</p><p>"Well, that depends on what you are curious about," Nexa answered and everyone nodded.</p><p>I rolled my eyes. "Fine. I'm sorry. Just wanted to know, that's all."</p><p>Yeona stood up, stretching her hands and yawning. "I think we better head home, yeah?" she asked.</p><p>Jin Ah shook her head. "Nope, not yet. I have one last thing for you guys to do," she said and stood up, walking over to the car and grabbing a big bag from the inside through the open window.</p><p>"What is that?" Jae Eun asked her. She gave us a mischievous smile and threw the bag onto the ground.</p><p>Cans of spray paint rolled out from the bag and onto the pavement. The rest of us looked at it in surprise.</p><p>"What's that?" Ah Ro asked.</p><p>"Air freshener," Jin Ah muttered sarcastically making us all laugh. "It's spray paint, you idiot," she huffed and flicked Ah Ro's forehead before pointing to the wall behind us.</p><p>"<em>Oh</em>. Right," Ah Ro exclaimed sheepishly and we giggled. Jin Ah bent over and grabbed one of the cans and shook it well before spraying the purple paint on to the wall. I stood up and immediately followed suit, grabbing a black spray paint can and drawing graffiti on the wall. One by one, all seven of us were soon spraying different colours onto the grey concrete, coating over previous artworks that were probably done by the goons of the street gangs that were known to roam this side of the city. We all worked in silence, painting layers upon layers upon layers of paint.</p><p>In about ten minutes time, we stood back and proudly scrutinized our work. A huge multi-coloured heart with the letters LvSeven was the centrepiece of our artwork and was surrounded by our names and words that represented ourselves to the tee. The feeling was exhilarating. I felt a tear slide down my cheek and I wiped it away, not wanting to let others see that I was crying. But I shouldn't have bothered. A few sobs and sniffs escaped into the air and Sarah whispered, "It's... It's beautiful," through choked back sobs. </p><p>Truth was, it wasn't exhibit-worthy but still, it seemed beautiful because it was tangible evidence that we were actually here, together, living in this world of beautiful miracles that made life seem something more special than it was supposed to be.</p><p>Involuntarily we held each other's hands and stood under the bright starry night, silently praying to ourselves that we stay together for as long as we live, despite the hidden scars on our bodies and in our hearts.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. CHAPTER THREE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>| ʜᴀᴇᴡᴏɴ |</b>
</p><p> </p><p>"Places everyone! Show starts in ten," our PD shouted over the din of the backstage preparations for our first show. People were moving about in speeds that could possibly break the speed record if they were put to the race track. Props were passed on and assembled; last-minute lighting tests were going on and the members and I were passed back and forth between stylists who were applying the final touches to the makeup caked on our faces. </p><p>On hearing our PD's announcement, Sarah called out to us, "Guys! Huddle over!"</p><p>As quickly as we could, we gathered around, creating a small circle.</p><p>"Girls," she began, with a commanding voice. "This day is the beginning of our career. This is the day that we are all going to look back at in the future and are going to be proud of. So far, we have gained good results from our first launch and it's in our hands to keep that reputation going. This day will be our first but I know for sure that it won't be our last. Stay strong. Together, we can do this."</p><p>She put her hand out and we did the same, piling one on top of the other. "LvSeven for eternity!" she chanted.</p><p>"LvSeven for eternity!" we echoed and threw out hands into the air together.</p><p>"Now, places! We have a crowd to entertain and impress!"</p><p>"Yes, ma'am!" we replied together and assembled in our respective units that would lift us up and on to the stage when it was time for the show to start.</p><p>For the first time since our rehearsal that morning, I looked down at my sweaty hands. Nervousness had enveloped me since I wore my stage outfit, just an hour prior to our performance. Wearing the dress indicated that all this was real and not just a dream that I could wake up from. This was really happening. I, Lee Haewon, was going to perform with six other members in front of huge crowds of spectators for the first time in my life. </p><p>It was exhilarating and nerve-racking all at the same time.</p><p>I looked up, pretending that I was looking at the sky and not bars of metal that held dozens of spotlights.</p><p><em>Please, God, don't make me mess this up,</em> I prayed silently, ignoring the stagehand standing next to me who was checking if my headset was functioning well.</p><p>Not a moment had passed when I heard the loud voice of the MC through the speakers. "Ladies and Gentlemen! I welcome you all to the debut stage of LvSeven performing their title track, Firelight!"</p><p>My throat clenched as I felt myself being lifted up. I looked to the side and saw the others crossing their fingers, their heads high, awaiting the right moment to begin our performance. They seemed more confident than I was despite me being the one who had practised the most. </p><p>I inhaled deeply and exhaled.</p><p>
  <em>Calm down, Haewon. You can do this.</em>
</p><p>Involuntarily I sucked a whoosh of air as the platform stopped and I saw the crowd in front of me cheering so loudly that I felt my knees shake in sheer anxiousness. Cameramen were armed with cameras the size of well... gigantic cameras and all the spotlights were directed at us making me flinch at the immensely bright lighting. It was too much. I wasn't prepared for this.</p><p>But despite all that was racing through my mind, I planted my feet into the ground and steadied myself. This was going to be our show. Our opportunity to show who we really were to the world. If we wreck this then our whole career was going to be wrecked. And I was not going to spoil it no matter what.</p><p>The music started.</p><p>
  <em>~A day is never the same~</em>
</p><p>The cheering continued to grow even louder as I saw the others slowly move in accordance with the music.</p><p>
  <em>~When you're not with me~</em>
</p><p><em>Pull yourself together, you lousy creature! You can do this!</em> I reassured myself over and over again. Slowly on cue with the music, I lifted my hands above my head. <em>Left, all the way back, front, feet steady, and two, three, four...</em> I chanted in my head. <em>Good.</em></p><p>
  <em>~I'm left all alone~</em>
</p><p>I turned towards Jae Eun who met my gaze and gave an undetectably small nod and smiled. I deciphered that it was an indication to say that I was doing good.</p><p>
  <em>~Amidst the dark trees~</em>
</p><p>I smiled back and made it a point to dance as much as my limbs could move. A feeling of happiness surged through my veins, fuelling me from head to toeI got used to the cheers and the lights. All seven of us moved together as one unit, one supporting the other at the right time and place. </p><p>Finally, all those days of endless practising seemed to pay off. </p><p>
  <em>~But I need no moon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I need no sun</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If you lead the way</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Behind you, I'll run~</em>
</p><p>As we sang together, the crowd of spectators sing along with us as well. And just then I realized how lucky I was to see such a sight-- it was magnificent. It made the adrenaline in my veins rush faster than it already was and I felt... <em>alive.</em></p><p>
  <em>~You take me to the mountains</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lead me through the woods</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Take me to the sky</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Show me all you should~</em>
</p><p>For once in my life, I was grateful that I had survived to see this moment. To think that I would have missed out on this if I had left the world that night... I felt so, so grateful that I was alive. And also, this was our first show and already there were so many spectators... you didn't need to have a warm heart to feel the warmth of gratefulness that enveloped me right then and there. True, maybe it wouldn't be that special to most celebrities because they probably would have had bigger and more enthusiastic fans than ours, but to me-- it was magical.</p><p>
  <em>~I'm flying through the clouds</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Flying above the seas</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If you come close</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'll hold you close to me~</em>
</p><p>And that's when I felt it. The feeling that I had made the right decision. This is what I had needed. To feel part of something;  a group--or more appropriately-- a family. A family who shared the same passion as I did and a family that supported me no matter what. A family who cared.</p><p>
  <em>~You lead me along</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You show me the way</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Out of the darkness</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And into clear day</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cuz you are my firelight~</em>
</p><p>And I fell desperately in love with it.</p><p>●●●</p><p>"SeokJin Oppa! SeokJin Oppa!" I called out, pounding the front door of his apartment like my life depended on it. </p><p>Sorry, scratch that--<em>because</em> my life depended on it. </p><p>I heard the shouts of the small crowd get closer and closer so I continued ringing the bell and pounding on the door with my fists alternately, making as much noise as possible to alert him to open the door.</p><p>To my relief, the door was thrown open, revealing a flustered man in his mid-twenties, clad in a loose t-shirt and a pair of white shorts, his face red in anger.</p><p>"Yah! What is all th--" he began shouting at my face but I didn't waste any time and forced my way in, cutting him off in the process. I closed the door behind me and locked it from the inside.</p><p>"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I owe you my life!" I said, sighing and falling down to my knees in front of him. I could have kissed his feet in gratefulness just then.</p><p>SeokJin inclined his head slightly, scrutinizing me and taking a moment to comprehend who I was. I didn't blame him though-- I looked like a rag doll. And when it suddenly clicked, he let out a gasp of astonishment.</p><p>"Lee Haewon?!"</p><p>"The one and only," I said, smirking.</p><p>He caught hold of my hand and pulled me up to my feet.</p><p>"Yah, what are you doing here? And why are you alone? And what is with you coming here at this hour?" he fired question after question at me. I simply rolled my eyes at him, shrugging before walking past him into his apartment. He hadn't changed one bit, that's for sure. Always the overprotective brother figure.</p><p>"Let's just say, I was out for a midnight rendezvous with my beloved and accidentally managed to blow my cover in the process," I replied, nonchalantly.</p><p>"<em>Midnight rendezvous with your beloved?!</em> " he repeated, utter disbelief lacing his voice. "Who may I ask is this bel-"</p><p>I held up a cup of instant ramyeon and a bag of bulgogi in front of his face.</p><p>"-Oh."</p><p>"Yes," I said, turning around and making my way towards his kitchen. "And if you don't mind, I need to borrow your water heater. I didn't have time to cook the ramyeon. My hoodie fell off and a bunch of women spotted me and began to ask me for autographs. I had to give them the slip."</p><p>He raised a brow. "I see. And let me guess, the first place you remembered was my apartment?"</p><p>I grinned, opening the door to his large kitchen. "You know me so well, Oppa."</p><p>He muttered something incoherent under his breath which I decided to ignore before entering the kitchen.</p><p>As I walked in, I caught sight of a figure in a navy blue wool sweater sitting on the island in the middle of the kitchen. Hearing our chatter he turned to face us but when I saw who he was, I stopped in my tracks, surprised.</p><p>His luscious brown hair was all over his forehead but I managed to see his eyes widen as he caught sight of me just as I raised a brow, both of us lost in confusion as to how the other was here.</p><p>"HaeWon?"</p><p>"Jungkook?" </p>
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